When Your Body Remembers: Understanding How Trauma Lives in Us

The Body Remembers What the Mind Forgets

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a psychiatrist and trauma expert, wrote a groundbreaking book called The Body Keeps the Score. In it, he explains how trauma doesn’t just live in our memories—it settles in our nervous systems, our muscles, even our posture. Long after the threat is gone, our bodies might still be bracing for impact.

In my work as a mental health therapist, I’ve sat with many people carrying invisible weight. Sometimes it shows up as anxiety with no clear source. Other times it’s a deep exhaustion, or a feeling of being disconnected from life. And often, it’s the body—not the mind—that shows us where to begin healing.

So… How Do We Heal?

Trauma healing isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey, but here are a few gentle, body-based practices that many people find helpful:

1. Somatic Exercises

These are simple movements and awareness practices that help you feel more at home in your body. Things like:

• Grounding: Stand or sit and notice where your body touches the floor or chair. Breathe into that support.

• Pendulation: Gently shift your focus between something uncomfortable (like tension in your chest) and something neutral or pleasant (like the feeling of your feet on the floor). This helps teach your nervous system that you can move in and out of discomfort safely.

2. Breathwork

Slow, mindful breathing can signal to your body that it’s safe now. Try a 4-7-8 breath: inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8. It’s like hitting the reset button.

3. EMDR Therapy

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is one of the tools I often use in my practice. It helps the brain reprocess traumatic memories in a way that’s less activating to the nervous system. Many people find that EMDR allows them to revisit painful experiences without getting overwhelmed—making room for relief, clarity, and healing.

4. Movement That Speaks to the Body

Trauma can leave the body feeling frozen or disconnected. Gentle movement—like restorative yoga, walking in nature, stretching, or even swaying side to side—can begin to thaw that tension. These aren’t about “working out” but rather tuning in. You might also explore practices like tapping (EFT) or even self-hugging techniques to bring a sense of comfort and safety back to the body.

In my own practice, I often introduce these simple, grounding movements with clients. I’ve seen how even just a few mindful moments of connecting to the body can shift something—bringing calm, clarity, or a little more room to breathe. Small, intentional movements can be surprisingly powerful ways to say, “I’m here, and I’m safe now.”

5. Safe Connection

Sometimes, healing comes through relationship. That might be with a trusted therapist, a close friend, or even the quiet companionship of a pet. Co-regulation—feeling safe in the presence of another—is powerful.

A Soft Place to Land

If you’re navigating trauma, please know that you’re not broken. Your body adapted to help you survive. And now, with kindness and care, you can teach it how to feel safe again.

In both my therapy practice and here at Mindful Glow, I’ve seen the power of slowing down, breathing deep, and meeting yourself with compassion. So light a candle, take a breath, and know you’re doing the work—even in the quiet moments.